How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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