guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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