She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize