:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
