can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
