i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
