i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
