Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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