1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
