last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
