i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
