Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
please don't ironically join a cult
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