Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
