My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
