where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
