lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
