woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
