My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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