Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
