"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize