the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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