I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
