maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
