While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
