So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize