he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You ruined the universe
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
