my sisters under your porch take her home
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
