As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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