After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
