I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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