I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
