So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
