Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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