Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Houston, we have a blender
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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