the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
