I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
