8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
