spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
