I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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