it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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