Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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