So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
