I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
