he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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