Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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