no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
