dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
