is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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