was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
