Need sex. Gaining weight.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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