You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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