I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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