Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
