wat bout pragnant strippers??
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
