would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
