my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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