he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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