I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
